I always worry about getting hate when I write one of these posts about external beauty. I know there is a large (or maybe just vocal?) group of people out there who are all about looking natural and accepting yourself for who you are. But what if you don’t particularly like looking all natural?
Don’t get me wrong, I love myself! My love for myself is exactly why I am getting to a healthier state. And contrary to a lot of popular opinions, you can still love yourself and not like certain parts.
Beauty is Pain?
I had a bit of an epiphany the other day while I was on the waxing table. There is something about getting hundreds of hairs ripped out of sensitive skin brings your mind to a zen state. Or maybe it’s that moment when you start asking yourself “dear god, why did I subject myself to this torture?!”
But I did ask myself why. And the answer both surprised me and didn’t. I have always known that I don’t get waxed to please anyone but myself, despite the common belief that women only groom so they can be attractive to the opposite sex. Or same sex if that’s who they are attracted to. But it wasn’t just the lip service that I’ve always given when asked why.
I really wanted to have it done to please myself.
Beauty, to me, is not having giant caterpillars above my eyes. I feel self-conscious about the dark hair on my upper lip that miraculously appeared after having my son. I like to look in the mirror and be content with what I see.
I’m just pleasing a man…
Does my husband care if I go months without a waxing appointment? Yeah, he does. But not because he thinks hairy me is unattractive. It’s because when I skip going to my aesthetician, I end up feeling self-conscious and I start to complain about how I look. Me being unhappy with how I look makes him unhappy too.
I don’t know about you, but when I don’t feel pretty, I sure as hell don’t feel sexy. So yeah, it affects him. Does he care if I’m hairy? No, but he wants me to feel as beautiful as he thinks I am. That’s why he’ll sit in that little waiting room, or the car, or the restaurant next door and wait for me and then tell me I’m beautiful.
I’ve always thought it a little strange that I don’t look at going to get waxed as a chore or as torture. It seems to me like it’s just another part of my self-care. It’s part of my beauty routine as much as getting my hair cut and colored, getting my nails done, or exercising.
It’s important to recognize the things that make us feel beautiful and to do them, no matter what anyone tells we should or shouldn’t be doing. If it makes you feel good about yourself, then whatever it is, is helping you to love yourself more. Hold yourself to your own standard of beauty. It’s the only one that counts.
Daily Dose of Music